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You are in: Home > Stroke Information > Your Stroke Journey > Moving On

Moving On

It is important to find ways of getting the most out of life after your stroke. This process involves coming to terms with, and finding ways around, any restrictions imposed by your stroke.

• Fight isolation
• Maintain social contact
• Structure your day
• Family and friends
• Readjusting to crowds and noise

Ways that you can help yourself move on include:

Fight isolation

After your stroke you may feel lonely and that no one understands what you are going through.

Try to fight feelings of isolation by asking family and friends to get involved in your rehabilitation and care. At the same time strive for as much independence as you can and use any opportunities that arise to boost your confidence, e.g.

• Get involved in making decisions – about your care as well as about general family life
• Learn what you can and cannot do on your own and ask for help when you need it
• Pay attention to your appearance – this can help you feel better about yourself
• Gather information about your condition / progress and set realistic goals for yourself

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Maintain social contact

• Many people who have had a stroke feel embarrassed about their weakness or speech difficulties.
• If you feel self conscious and lacking in confidence then you may feel reluctant to see friends or go out. However, learning to socialise again is an important step in your stroke recovery.

There may be practical difficulties in going to places you went to before, and you may have fears of not managing when out.

It may seem easier to stay at home in your safe comfort zone. However, this leads to isolation and worsens your fears. There is often a solution to overcoming practical difficulties, e.g. using a wheelchair.

Try to maintain contact with your close friends. Encourage friends to visit or, if you can, plan short trips out with them. It helps if your friends know what you can and cannot do and, as with all parts of your recovery, remember to pace yourself.

Sometimes friendships, that were based on a shared activity that you can no longer do, may change or even be lost. Try to accept this and do not blame yourself.

You may need to build up new friendships and try out new social activities. This can seem daunting at first but, in time, it is possible to meet new people who share your interests and abilities.

Many people find being in the company of other people who have had a stroke to be beneficial. Chest Heart & Stroke Scotland (CHSS) has many stroke clubs and Volunteer Stroke Service (VSS) groups around the country. There may be other community activities you may find helpful.

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Structure your day

• Routines can be helpful: they break up your day and can help you to pace yourself according to your energy levels.

When considering a daily routine you need to think about your own needs as well as those of anyone else who lives at home and / or cares for you.

Ideally you want to aim to alternate work / chores and rest by doing things in small stages.

Think about all the daily tasks that have to be done and try to work out which ones you:

• Can do independently
• Are relearning
• Will need help with

Plot the time that will be needed for each of these. Draw up a list of small steps towards relearning some of the missing skills. If you get tired easily try to do most energy consuming tasks at the time of day / week when you have most energy – but be flexible and plan rest periods.

You may find that you have a best time of day – use this for the things you most want to do, not for tedious tasks. Try to continue with hobbies, interests, social or other regular commitments and plan time for these as well.

It is important to keep as active as possible at all ages. Try to build in short, but frequent, periods in the day to practise movements, exercises and skills. If possible, aim to get some fresh air every day.

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Family and friends

• Your family may be worried about you and want to look after you. Like you, they may be anxious about your situation and grieving for the way it has affected both your life and theirs.
• They may also feel resentful about the changes they have had to make because of your stroke or about the demands of caring for you and they may experience guilt at having these feelings.

If you were previously fit and healthy you may find it hard to be dependent on other people. If practical, it can be very helpful to sit down with your family and explain what you can and cannot do and agree that you will ask for help if you need it.

Family members and friends who take on the caring role may find the Information For Carers section helpful.

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Readjusting to crowds and noise

• Some people find the mental stimulus of crowded places and / or a lot of background noise uncomfortable and difficult to deal with after the stroke. This can lead to anxiety.

Aim to get accustomed to busier / noisier places gradually. At first it may be easier to go to shops etc when you know they are going to be quiet. You can build up your confidence by spending short periods of time in busier places. It may also help to have someone with you.

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